Or wake, visitation, viewing. Controversial take, but fuck custom. Wear what is comfortable. My dress pants don’t fit and I don’t have anything remotely close to a nice top. I’m wearing a plain black t-shirt and jeans. I’ll bring a plain black hoodie. My grandma won’t care, and if anyone…

I did not see her breathing Just after midnight I watched, waiting for a breath But soon grabbed her hand instead Fingertips were rigid But then she’s had arthritis forever Her skin was warm, her face She exuded such a great heat I feel no breath I feel no pulse The skin on her face was firm Lacking the bounce we have Lacking the movement Through manipulation and touch I press my fingers to her neck In search of a pulse Her skin, the things beneath it Were rigid, not of rigor mortis But rather ceasing of life

He is in this house, but He has not acted yet. I can feel Him, hovering, looming, waiting. Like Charon, He is merely a ferryman. Perhaps I ought to leave some coins.

I think there is not much time left. The feelings are complicated, not simply one way or another. There is a part of me that seeks the relief of this being over with — this is natural, it will be natural to feel relief afterward too. All of the feelings…

Drugged, planning on going to bed a while ago. Benzo — typical dose, half of one pill — to calm the cyclical thinking of anxiety, trazodone for the sleep. …

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There’s something I sense that is off. Also discussion of anatomy and loosely about masturbation. The first covid vax (Moderna) caused a one week delay to the start of my menstrual cycle, and before the bleeding ceased, my ovaries threw so many cysts. I described the ensuing time period as…

Subtitle: Why I want to cut my hand off right now Content: I am in so much pain but I have work to do with my primary hand, which has LC. Temporary help: heat. Alleviates pain temporarily, not sure the mechanism behind this. Also compression, although this wrap is inadequate…

I’ve been self-employed for a while. In 2010 I started working with silicone, later opening up a shop selling…novelties…in 2011. It was a realization that after a year of doing very little with it and raking in $790 in sales that I could put in effort and make more, and…