Could you share whatever you took to get high enough to speak so boldly while being so ill-informed?

I went out, a short trip, many hours long. I am avoiding being at home, but I am avoiding my feelings. Those feelings had no regard for the freedom and in the safety of their space, they came at full force.

It is perfectly natural and normal to feel frustration in hard times. Overwhelming and oppressive situations take hold, I have little control over my life in the current climate. My time is taken at a degree greater than a full time job, and the desperate need to unwind keeps me…

So join me on the descent into madness, sponsored by the godawful taste of uncoated trazodone and “when did I fill up this water bottle?” memory loss. I have had an unbroken week of caregiving, including on Friday in a weird Judge Judy episode where Judy would not calm down…

I just want a moment of peace. It is nearing midnight, and I ought to have been in bed three hours ago. Time in the day is occupied primarily by caring for an individual that is somehow both a twisted, yet far more real version of Dr Jekyll and Mr…

Or: the dive down into the abyss of nonsense. Hours after the in-office appointment wherein my doctor and I went over my questions and concerns about my frequent use of clonazepam, Walgreens messaged me to say that my scripts were filled. This included one trazodone, an alternative I didn’t even…

The choice was between a pack including 3 White, 3 Fiesta, 3 Gold, and 3 Rosa (only the gold and rosa I would like), and a pack including 6 Paradise and 6 Watermelon. I chose the latter. It’s atrocious. Tastes like the hint of sweetness passed over the death mouthfeel that is carbonated water, with an air of watermelon candy smell on the back end. Gross. At least I would have been okay with the white, and maybe I would have liked Fiesta.

I’m losing it. I stayed up too late last night. Typing, taking my meds, having that moment hit sometime after they kicked in where I suddenly realized I needed to eat everything in the house. Actually we’re there now. I had the opportunity to get more peanutbutter and some delightful…

I give up, yet I cannot. There is an inherent anxiety in going to the doctor’s office, regardless of what it is for and who it is you are seeing. Some people have so-called “White coat syndrome,” and in theory, me too. My blood pressure and heartrate both spike in…