Every stimuli feels overwhelming, a sensory overload as a result of anxiety. Every tiny fleck of dust touching my skin irritates me greatly. The fungus gnat that won’t get off my screen irritating my vision — the scratches on my glasses irritating my vision. …

There are eggs in my mouth. Tons of them, hiding in every crevice, appearing seemingly from nowhere. I try not to crush or swallow them as I pull them out, spit them out, but there are more still. The eggs are in various shapes and conditions, some tiny, some twisted…

Again I find myself lamenting this ungodly bright white background to type my thoughts on. Give me greys, dark and light, so that it is not a strain on my already weak eyes. This is one of many entries I start after sorting through some sounds to throw on in…

In the continued series of being unable to sleep properly, especially after Something Big happens (and screwing up my sleep schedule due to being awake so late into the morning because of that), I found myself waking up at 4pm. Contemplated for a moment getting up and acting as if…

A story about partaking in substances and feelings. Not really. Partially. I guess a little. My grandpa once said to me in the hushed whispers of a difficult conversation about life that “The ‘ism never really goes away.” He was referring to alcoholism, and at the time it was evident…

Dreams. Emphasizing the sweet spot of their importance between the reality of what dreams are, or may be, and the deep meaning that they simply do not have, the woo side, is a difficult line to toe. I repeat, ad nauseam, the distinction as I cannot express properly their impact…

Over the past month I have found myself wanting to sit down to type up something. Or perhaps sitting down to draw something. Paint something. Create. There are times that I will start, only to trash what I have started — or close the tab and forget to go through…

I have written before about the sordid history leading up to the hatching of some geckos that hold my heart in their little hands. Although retelling the story itself tends to include varying words and information that feels far more concrete now than it did during the earlier detailing, it…